Complexity

Just thinking here, about 2:15 PM, December 1st of my sophomore year. Started thinking about how much things have changed in my generation’s lifetime. Will my kid be able to enjoy what I enjoyed throughout grade school? The beautiful neighborhoods back home are no more, society’s on the skids. I remember being able to walk my neighborhood streets with a basketball, I remember JHES, I remember the hot sun on my bare back, grass stuck to my feet, building a “dam” in the curb against the water from my neighbor’s car-washing, the Julian Harris fall festival, scamming the other neighborhood kids outside of our little “gang” for “profit.” And riding our bikes to Suicide Hill… I smile right now thinking about these beautiful things. But I see how my younger cousins and even my little sister are. They just don’t seem to be able to do that anymore, for some reason. As much as I sound like an old man, technology has changed these kid’s lives, desires, you name it. And there also just seems to be not as much of a sense of safety and community anymore. I guess growing up in a neighborhood centered around a school helps, but look at that place now. People are moving out, things just kinda turned into a train wreck. Will conditions be so bad that my kid will be looking up stocks on the latest incarnation of the i-whatever instead of doing what I did? Or will he be the little punk that is the representation of my childhood? We really have gotten old.

It’s not about personal triumph in obeying statutes. It’s about redemption from an inevitable doom due to a merciful sacrifice.

4/20

phobro:

It’s a wonderful 4/20 day in the gangsterhood. A wonderful day for a gansta. Could you be high? Won’t you be high, Won’t you be? ..My gansta 

Y’all know what I miss? Living in my hometown, Decatur, AL, I remember during the fall in middle school leaving the campus and heading home. I remember walking into my house with the cool October breeze blowing in with me. That autumnal smell. It still lingers in my nasal cavity-No, my brain! I remember walking in and hearing my sister watching “Arthur.” After which would come something like, Idk, Dragon Tales. After that, NO!!!, Clifford the Big Red Dog. I remember getting attacked by my own dog. I remember being told to clean my room. I remember my dad refusing to let me play my Pizza Hut demo of Spyro the Dragon because I didn’t eat my baked potato. I remember running and sliding on the linoleum floor with my socks on. I remember falling on the floor and getting carpet-burns. I remember the odd atmosphere of Halloween back then. I remember just these odd, apparently ephemeral, yet lasting fragments of those times. Odd post? Yes. Blame Jack Kerouac. I don’t know why, but listening to his “American Haikus” just brought back flashbacks I never knew existed. Blame. Jack. Kerouac.

College

I know I metaphorically crap on the University a ton, but it has been very beneficial to me in the most indirect ways. Through this experience, I have broadened my lifestyle’s horizons, as odd and random as it may now be. I have found new interests that provide variety for my previously drab and decaying life. I have encountered people who have rubbed off on me by leaving behind their own interests. For example, I now can say that I have gained an aesthetic sort of appreciation for nature and the world around me as well. I can also say that I have been given a strong desire to improve upon every aspect of my human being, due to my exposure to individuals who can only be described using the term “Renaissance men.” I have discovered new possibilities as well, as I see the effects of education and hard work as displayed by various grad. students. I have also been provided with resources that allow me the means to hone away at my personal attributes and feed my thirst for improvement. The library has provided me with the means to delve deeper and deeper into subjects; means that were previously unavailable to me. These resources allow me to feed my appetite for discovery. Finally, I have met people who have been of the utmost beneficence to me from the start. These individuals will doubtless play a powerful role in my life years down the road. One particular characteristic of these people though is that they have served as role models to me-something that I have never had. In conclusion, I must say that these aspects of the University have played a fundamental role in revitalizing my life, as well as allowing the means for personal improvement, creating in me the desire for improvement

To Whom it may concern

I will eventually start blogging more, it’s just that I am currently in a bind with school.

Sometimes, you gotta give people a chance to show that they are not what meets the eye. I’ve discovered that tonight. Feels great.

Change for the worse

Moving here to Tuscaloosa has removed me from the only world I was once used to. I remember way back, friends that actually got along. No cliques. Things gradually began to become divided, as I migrated from friend group to friend group. Now that I am here in college, things have become even more warped. While I’ve renewed VERY old friendships and made a few new ones as well, the world I left behind just seems to be falling apart. Friends I once knew seem to have been cast into a mental oblivion. Every time I see them, I just hear of pain and sorrow. My own brother’s future is falling apart, and it pains me to get calls from home talking about it. This guy who I once thought had a bright future has just gone headlong into depression, due to his athletic decline. Furthermore, I hear that my parents are so glum about his mental capability that they are considering sending him into auto-tech at Calhoun, thereby closing off his future and confining him to a city that just seems to “trap” potential young adults, leaving their lives to sort of fester. Life is too great and this world too magnificent for me to allow my brother to just literally stop his life there in Decatur and see no horizon. His creativity is without bound, and staying there would do nothing but block off any stream of it. I hate to see this. I love him too much to watch this happen. I know that the Calhoun thing is 3 years in the future, but after my parents did so much to encourage me in my life,  I hate to see them set a limit on his.

The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
H.P. Lovecraft
I know it says November, but still a pretty sick flyer of Vic Victor

I know it says November, but still a pretty sick flyer of Vic Victor